I'm struggling. I don't know why attendance is difficult.
Maybe school mornings have suddenly become difficult. Perhaps your child says they feel ill, worried, exhausted or simply says they cannot face going in. You may be upset, frustrated or unsure what to do next.
Look for clues, not blame.
Attendance difficulty is not always caused by one obvious thing. Your child may not be able to explain exactly why school has become harder. Sometimes several smaller difficulties build up together.
Explore barriers
What could be making getting to school or being in school harder?
Notice changes
What is different now compared with when attendance felt easier?
Look for patterns
Are particular days, lessons, people or situations more difficult?
Instead of only asking “Why won't my child go to school?”, try asking “What might be making school harder at the moment?”
What might be getting in the way?
Tick anything that feels worth exploring. Ticking something does not mean that you have decided it is the cause.
Learning & school work
Additional needs
Health & wellbeing
Friendships & belonging
Home & family
Practical difficulties
What has changed?
Think about the period before attendance became more difficult. Something that seems small may still be worth noticing.
When does it seem hardest?
Patterns do not give us a diagnosis. They can, however, help you and school know which questions to ask next.
When is it easier?
Do not only look at the difficult days. Think about when your child is more settled or attendance is easier. This can tell you something important about what helps.
Four manageable next steps
Bring the clues together
Select the button below to create a simple summary from the things you have selected and written. You can use it for yourself or take it into a conversation with school.
My Attendance Reflection
Two places to turn
If you need more information or someone to help you think things through, these independent organisations may be useful.
YoungMinds
Guidance for parents and carers where anxiety, worry or difficulty attending school may be part of what is happening.
Visit YoungMinds →Coram Family Lives
Confidential parenting support, information and guidance if you would like to talk through what is happening.
Visit Coram Family Lives →This is a reflection tool, not a diagnosis.
Attendance difficulties can be connected with many different circumstances. This page cannot diagnose a medical condition, mental-health difficulty, safeguarding concern or SEND need. If you are concerned about your child's health, wellbeing or safety, seek appropriate professional support.
You don't need the whole answer before starting a useful conversation.
Notice the barriers. Think about what has changed. Look for patterns. Listen to your child. Notice what helps. Then bring those clues together with what school is seeing and agree the next small steps.